Sunday, 12 June 2011

Lies damned lies and their delicious poison

As life progresses and I reflect on my life i've come to know some rather disappointing truth's about things.
Some I learnt early on others I learn recently and still there will be plenty more to learn in future.

First off, there is no Princess who will simply be stoaked to have me rock up and say "Hi", fall madly in Love with me for very little reason other than the fact i'm Prince Charming. Secondly, i'm not Prince Charming. Fairytales never happen. My fairytale dreams are hopes that drown me. I'm much more pragmatic than I am idealistic but that doesn't mean I won't let foolish little dreams sit in the back of my mind. They are not helpful in the least and i'm frequently disappointed in myself for spending so much time day dreaming about things that will never happen or at least never in the way I see them. Too much time is spent thinking about dreams I think I want and not enough on dealing with the current situation. I'm not entirely sure why I feed these idealistic dreams still. I think it might be because I can't quite accept the realities of life as much as i'ld like to think because lets face it reality often really sucks when compared to a fairytale. However, reality beats a fairytale hands down any day because it's real.

I must give some credit to my mum. She never read us fairytales or garbage like that, at least as far as I can remember. Making us believe in Santa, for example, would leave us with serious questions regarding the validity of Jesus when we found out Santa isn't real because lets face it the uninformed observer could be justified in calling Jesus a grown up's version of Santa Claus, where instead of presents at Christmas you get to live in Heaven when you die.

Back to the fairytales though, I really do wonder why on Earth they are so popular. I mean obviously there's Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella which Disney has gone and commercialized successfully. Then there's the grown up versions. I like fairytales, but they are a lie. It's like the movie "He just not that into you" where the main Character is the EXCEPTION. Uhm, actually no she's not. She's the rule. It's just that you wont leave the Cinema feeling good about the movie if it doesn't have a happy ending.

So disappointingly, i'll never meet a Princess just like i'll never be Prince Charming. Oh yes I will still try and depending on the strength of my relationship with God, I might even get close to a resemblance of the real deal. However, I don't want a Princess. I want a Woman. I'm not too fussy, i'll even leave it to God to decide. The world can say what they want about her but as long as God calls her a Princess, then that's enough for me. As for being Prince Charming, we'll I have come to the conclusion that he only lived once. However, I know him well and he's teaching me. Slowly...

She's Always a Woman to me. By Billy Joel
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me

Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, 
But she's always a woman to me

This fairytale thing however, it's not just about love. It's in everything. It's about your house, your friends, your family, your community. Everything. We have all these pre-concieved idea's about how things will be tomorrow which more often than not (at least for me) pay no respect for today's situation. I find it incredible how frequently I find myself running into these dangerous idea's. It's like in growing up we pick-up all these pictures of life and make a montage of our future lives based on these pictures. Real or imagined it doesn't matter, the montage is just whatever we thought was good at the time.

I've found these idea's to be a problem because they get in the way of going with God. I'll say no to God because I think that what God has will prevent me from living out that which I dream of. Regardless of whether or not it will prevent me, I shouldn't care about it. God's plan for me is the one I want. So I need to break down these idea's that say I want something else as I find them. A future I construct in my own mind, is not a future at all. It's a fairytale that re-writes itself constantly to stay relevant and possible. It's such a shame that I have this pathetic neediness about me that asks for my future to include some of my silly idea's. I should just be happy with my future including God.

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